Top 5 adventures · Travel advice

My top 5 worst travel experiences

So generally travelling is about the great experiences and memories that you take away but let’s face it not every memorable experience is for the right reasons. So my top 5 ‘worst’ travel experiences are:

1. An Ayurvedic massage in Kerala

OMG I will remember this until I die. Our guide recommended a place to us and thought we would enjoy the experience. The masseuses were not used to Westerners so found us very special. In just a small rag I found my female masseuse just staring at me amazed by my skin. After I was cover in the oil she put me in a hot chamber with only my head poking out and started to kiss my face. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. My husband took a nap and woke to 2 men pointing at his tattoos! Put me off massages for a long time!

2. A street food tour in Marrakesh with only 1 nut!

Our guide in Marrakesh was a bit nutty and probably should have retired already. He kept stopping to tell us about the history of the City but in awkward places where bikes nearly run him (and us) down! He eventually stopped at the food market and offered us a nut each! That was the extent of the ‘food’ on the street food tour! Needless to say we didn’t tip and demanded our money back! Very disappointing!

3. Restaurant recommendation in Jordan

We received a restaurant recommendation from our guide in Jordan. So wandered out, arrived at the restaurant and asked for a table. After a bit of shuffling around and sorting out a table for us we sat down and perused the menu. My husband started to look around at the other diners and noticed that they were all drinking water or other non-alcoholic beverages! Hmmmmmmmm a teetotal restaurant on our holiday after a hot day exploring and dreaming of a cold beer … we politely made our excuses and found another restaurant with cold beer and camel stew! Sure the food wasn’t as good but the beer was so refreshing!

4. Mattress on floor and no heating

Booking a room in London near Hammersmith to stay for the night after Beautiful South concert to find it’s literally a mattress on the floor and no heating. I am pro Airbnb but this was ridiculous! It was late so we didn’t have much choice but to stay. Concert was amazing so we were still buzzing from that, luckily!

5. Drunken driver in Kerala

So this is the same guide/driver as experience 1 above, why did we not learn!!? We felt bad that our guide had to go to the staff quarters and we wanted to try somewhere outside of our hotel so we invited him to take us out to a local restaurant. He happily agreed. We went to a lovely place not that far away. As soon as we walked in our guide became very arrogant to the staff, really quite rude. We then ordered some wine and food. I didn’t notice how much he was drinking but we had a glass each and the bottle was empty so we ordered another and same thing happened. He got louder and ruder. He was very racist about the northern Indians who were sitting on the next table. We ate quickly and left the restaurant. Only way back was in the car he had to drive. I angrily asked him if he was able to drive as he’d drunk so much. He sobered up quickly as he realised his job was on the line and apologies with lots of ‘Ma’am sorry’. We got back to our hotel fine, thankfully. Next morning he called our room to apologise again and continued to apologies for the rest of the trip. I think he learned his lesson!

So there are my top 5, got lots more I could have shared but those ones spring to mind first. Hope you enjoyed reading this.

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